For Better, For Worse....For GOOD!

FOR GOOD:

I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return. Well, I don't know if I believe that's true but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun. Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood. Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good.

It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime, so let me say before we part so much of me is made of what I learned from you, you'll be with me like a handprint on my heart. And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have re-written mine by being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea. Like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood. Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you...because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness for the things I've done you blame me for but then, I guess we know there's blame to share and none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun. Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood. Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good.

Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea. Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better

And because I knew you... Because I knew you... Because I knew you... I have been changed for good...

This song has so much meaning for me, but even more so after the last few days.  In my life, I have had some great friendships.  These people who have come in and out of my life have helped to make me stronger throughout the years.  Some because of heartache, some with encouragement and understanding, some just because of who they are as a person.  This last week has been eye-opening for me.  I certainly can't speculate the exact circumstances of why I am feeling the need to close the book on a friendship that meant the world to me for so long, but the time has come and that's exactly what I am doing.  Many years ago, I lost touch with someone who was like family to me.  About 5 years ago we were able to reconnect with facebook, but it has not been the same.  This person accepted my facebook friend request, but has never once posted any personal messages or replied to my "just stopping by to say hello, how's the family" posts.  I've wondered from time to time, if I had done something to offend this person or their spouse, but I couldn't imagine what it could have been.  So I just kept telling myself that they were busy and I shouldn't take any of it personally.  I'm starting to think maybe I was wrong.  I don't like to assume, but it's really hard not to.  This person, along with their family, are currently less than 10 miles away from me, for the holiday weekend.  I was so excited and wanted to meet up for coffee or something, just to say hello and see them in person.  When I said something to them on facebook, the immediate response is that they wouldn't have time, which I understand to an extent, but I just don't completely understand.  If I hadn't seen someone for almost 12 years that meant so much to me, I would MAKE time to get a cup of coffee or something with them if I knew they were this close.  Ironically, only a few days before, a couple of friends whom I have only met in person once or twice, happened to be in town and went out of their way to have lunch with me.  

I've grown up a lot in the last 10 years or so.  My wonderful husband has been a great help with that in the last 6 years or so.  He's made me so much stronger and helped me adapt the "whatever" philosophy when it comes to people and their feelings for you.  This one has just been a little harder than most, because of who this person was to me throughout my teen/young adult life.  I can't say for certain how they truly feel about me, but I can say this... I'm done worrying about it.  I have an awesome husband, fabulous family (including in-laws) and some of the most tremendous friends known to man.  I am most definitely blessed in my life and so thankful for everyone that has been a blessing to me.  I may not have a lot of close friends here in Dallas, so it gets lonely sometimes....but I DO have fabulous friends all over the country who are more important to me than I ever thought possible, and I am so thankful for those people.  It's become unimportant for me to dwell on those friendships that have failed...even the ones that were once so special.  When I say I'm closing the book on this one, I don't mean that they are no longer important to me, I just mean that I will no longer allow it to bother me that they are not in my life anymore.  I honestly hope that I am wrong, but I will not hold my breath at this point.  I have too much happiness to allow something like this to affect me any longer.  I had my moment of sadness...like at the end of a movie that has touched your heart...but the movie is over, the book is complete, and I will now close it and go on with my wonderful life, with my wonderful husband, magnificent family and fabulous friends.  Upward and Onward...as they say!